struggles

Sometimes I almost can't believe that I'm struggling with pretty much the same things as I've been struggling with for years. Sometimes I feel like I should have learned my lesson by now, but obviously I have not.
Then I start to realize I'm struggling because I am not giving things to God. He wants and Demands that we give him everything. Everything means Everything. I can't decide that i'm going to follow Christ and only give him a little of my life. It doesn't work that way. If I'm following Christ then I'm giving him everything. Because He deserves Nothing LESS than Everything. I cannot decide I will give him my pride but keep my vanity...and so on. Kinda the same thing but it kind of states what I mean.
When I start to think of all my sins I've commited and will commit in the future it makes me feel like a horrible human. But, today I was reminded of the verse that All fall short of the Glory of God. Making me realize that yes I do fall short but because God's Son came to earth and was sinless and faultless, and bore our sins on a tree that we might one day choose him to be our Saviour! He has wiped us clean and made us like him that we might one day be with Him in Heaven to Fall at His feet to WORSHIP Him.
That just seems amazing.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Jesus I pray that you might lead me always. Jesus I pray for you to be my Saviour and to rescue me from the flame. Consume my heart like a fire. God I pray that I might be strong in you to fight these battles I fight. God I pray that all weapons that have been formed against me will not remain!
In Jesus name,
Amen!

Nothing more profound than the one who loved me first

I been thinking a lot lately about how profound it is that someone loved us first. Knew us before we even existed. That just blows my mind!

I sometimes get stuck in this thought process that I feel like i'm not good enough, not worthy of anyone's love so why should this prefect being love me first? Amazing how Jesus keeps pursuing us, no matter what we think, what we say, or how we act. Our sins blemish our relationship with God, but he still loves us! How can someone who is faultless, pure, and shameless, still turn to look on us with love? Isn't that just amazing? Love that pure, that magnified can touch the emptiest of hearts, the sinners that we are to turn us into a new creation through him to Glorify Him.

I in turn stop to think of all the things I've ever done, and realize God tells me that I'm clean, through his sacrifice I'm made clean and am as pure as snow!
This just makes me want to jump for joy that a being so perfect might love me that much.